WHO GAVE YOU THE FUCKING RIGHT @ user TaylorSwift13
this is my self harm jar: when anyone reblogs/retweets this picture I will add your url/ @ name into the jar and I promise I will not cut for the amount of notes it gets. Every time I feel the urge to do so I will pull out a name and message you thanking you for keeping me strong. Right now I have 20 names in it
Seeing you last night brought some light into my world which has been a bit rocky lately. Not really for any specific reason, I’ve just been feeling nostalgic and missing the Red tour, and you specifically.
I didn’t get a chance to gossip with you last night, not that I like to call it gossiping, but, well …Selena and Justin are still mixed up in each other. I’ve been giving her the cold shoulder because of it; maybe thats wrong of me but when I look at her all mixed up with him I see some of myself in her and it makes me feel ashamed. I get what its like to want someone to change, but I had to learn the hard way that you can’t make anyone change and it just upsets me to see her refusing to let him go because he’s dragging her down with him. I care about her and I can’t do anything to stop it so I just took some steps back.
I don’t even know why I’m writing about this to you, its not like I actually give you any of these letters, they’re my secret. I write to you anyway though because you’re always the first person I think of when I want to talk about something. You’re the one I always want to share things with because you always know what to say.
But… last night I couldn’t, we were at a party and it wasn’t appropriate. And today, well I tried to call you earlier but you didn’t pick up and I can’t do that thing with you where I call repeatedly or leave multiple messages because I’m not your girlfriend… I’m not your first priority.
I look at pictures like this and I kind of hate myself for friend zoning you so solidly and so early on in knowing you. When we’re together my eyes always find their way to you before and above anyone else because you really are my lighthouse. Sometimes I wonder if you know and you just do and say nothing because you don’t want to confront the fact that you know I feel things and you don’t because you don’t want to make things awkward between us. I look at pictures like this and I get scared. I think to myself, “How can he see these and not know?” I’m not good at hiding things, I’m not good at subtlety. Sometimes though we only see what we want to see. I’m horribly guilty of that.
Maybe its better this way, if you really don’t know, if you really are oblivious to how much you mean to me and how much I quietly wish we could be more than we are. Its not like I’m miserable or anything… I really am okay. Just being able to feel something again, and knowing that I’m feeling this for such an amazing person this time instead of someone who doesn’t care about me at all, is enough for me.
A WORTHWHILE FIGHT
You may mess up, but you’re not a mess up.
You may make a mistake, but you are not a mistake.
You may screw up, but you are not a screw up.
You may fail, but you are not a failure.
You are not your downfalls.
I need to remind myself of this frequently.
speak now or forever hold your peace.
this is the only thing that matters in my life anymore
Best Of Taylor Swift→ Style
“I definitely think about a million people when I get dressed in the morning.”